Mister Know-it-all by Elvis McGonagal

I had a lovely surprise when I attended my first Henley Knowledge Management Forum conference earlier this year, because they had hired Elvis McGonagal as conference poet! A brilliant idea, and considering it was written as the day progressed, a quite brilliant poem.

Mister Know-it-All by Elvis McGonagal

I’ve eaten all the fruit from the tree of knowledge
I know what’s what, I know who’s who
I know my onions, I know the ropes
I know a thing or two
I know the way to Amarillo
I know the way to San Jose
I know who let the dogs out
I know the time of day
I know what happened to The Likely Lads
I know what happened to Baby Jane
I know what’s eating Gilbert Grape
I know the rain in Spain falls mainly on the plain
I know who’s been eating your porridge
I know who ate all the pies
I know which side my bread is buttered
I know the wheres, the whens, the whys
I know a hawk from a handsaw
I know chalk from cheese
I know they know it’s Christmas
I know “thank you very much” in Japanese (”domo arrigato gazaimas”)
I know where the bodies are buried
I know whodunnit, I know the score
I know what it’s all about, Alfie
I know the capital of Ecuador (Quito)
I know how many roads a man must go down
I know where we go from here
I know why birds suddenly appear
Every time that you are near
I know the known knowns that I know I know
I know the unknown knowns that I don’t
And as for Mr Rumsfeld’s unknown unknowns -
Will I admit I don’t know I don’t know? No I won’t
I know that unlike Barack Obama
Most politicians don’t have a single scruple
I know that one of the speakers today
Used to be a roadie for Mott the Hoople
I’m a walking wikipedia
I’m a mobile reference library
I’ve got more knowledge than a London cabby
I know the quickest way from Highgate to Highbury
But little do you know that I know that you know
That I know what I know is no use
Unless I pass it on, put it over and get it across
There’s no mileage in a mastermind recluse
For facts are fine as far as they go
As long as new ideas come from what we glean
Just knowing stuff is not enough
We gotta innovate - know what I mean?
And even if we know who wants to be a millionaire
We know they know that others must cooperate
That they’ll have to ask the audience, they’ll have to phone a friend
Communicate, convey, collaborate
We’ve got to work as a team, pull together
Join forces, pool resources, play ball
We gotta sail in the same boat baby
It’s all for one and one for all
So - I know who put the “ram” in the “ramalamadingdong”
I know who put the “bop” in the “bop-sh-bop”
But the best piece of knowledge I’ll share with you today is -
I know when to stop

Thanks to Chris Collison for posting this so I didnt have to hassle anyone for it :-)